I wish I knew more. I wish I knew nothing at all.

I'm having some serious issues, and I'm not sure what to do. All I know is I want to write.
Does he still love her? Of course. But does he still want to be with her is the question.
Perry, I don't fucking appreciate you calling him from her phone. I hate seeing that look on his face when he sees her number on the screen. It tears at my heart slowly, piece by piece. The one girl he has ever loved. And for that very reason, the only girl that will ever scare me.
I know I've given him something no one else ever has. However, I know they never had proper closure. If she came calling... would he go back to her? Would he give it a try? Would I wait for him to figure out that it's something that is in his past? Of course I would. Because I'm hopelessly devoted to him. Still, I can't say it wouldn't damage me to the fullest extent.
I'm a nervous wreck here. It pains me just thinking of him thinking of her. I wish I knew more. I wish I knew nothing at all.